Being in balance

16 September 2018, Ios, Cyclades, Greece

Well, we’re here on the rocky island of Ios where the blue sky contrasts against the white of the stone buildings. The church bells have just called the faithful to Sunday service, and I’m here on my little balcony with the small winds of September brushing against my shoulders.

I’ve been thinking about giving and receiving and how they need to be in true balance for me to feel tethered and content in both body and spirit. Being out of alignment has led me along winding, steep and vertiginous paths. In other words, something will be awry in your life if you give more than you receive and vice versa. A couple of years ago, I was working three jobs with one of them taking most of my time but paying me the least. I was the centre point for a small national organisation, and it required a constant vigil to keep all the balls in the air. I was in over-giving mode, working hours and hours on end, trying to scrape enough money together, worrying and overwhelmed and resentful at having to work so hard. My health was shot with anaemia setting in, and I was bringing the stress into my home life. So I gave that job up and watched as my writing and editing business leapt to new heights. In some ways, I’m still working as hard, but something has shifted in me because I don’t feel the resentment and stress as much. I think it’s because I allow myself to receive more now. I receive more massages; I take my walks and go to exercise class; I take days off to spend with my family and friends; and I travel. And I know that it’s okay to do this for myself. I still worry, but the giving and receiving part is balancing out a little more. One of the big reasons we decided to go to Greece for a month now is to take the time to really be with our kids. My daughter is on the cusp of high school and wanting to be more with her friends, and my younger son just wants our undivided attention.

I feel blessed that we’ve been able to make this trip happen. I know none of us will forget it, and I feel closer to my kids than ever.

Giving and receiving: my goal is to be so full in heart, mind and body that I’m able to give my love, wisdom, and talents in abundance to those I love and those who ask for them and need them. To do this, I have to be full, and fullness requires asking for what I need and want, allowing it into my life, and receiving with gratitude and joy. It’s an endless cycle that doesn’t start or stop anywhere. I don’t have to give first to receive or the other way around. So, today, I think I will just try to live joyfully and in gratitude because it is from this place that the heart expands into fullness, ready to give and receive.